Struggling to Pray in Your Circumstances

Dear God:

Are you there? Can you hear me? Do you see me?

A whirlwind of emotions is swirling in my heart, fueled by anger and bitterness. I feel cutoff from you.

God, I know you are Lord, King of kings…. that You have absolute authority over everyone and everything. Nothing happens without your permission or direction. I need You, your guidance, direction.

Lord, I know you. You know me. I’ve seen the powerful works of your hands. Your creation is beautiful, and it has moved me.

Usually, my soul is satisfied after reading your love letters and underlining the Words that have both pierced and encouraged my heart. In the past I have held tight to your unconditional love for me.

But not today, God. Not for days, weeks, even months. I feel as if your righteous right hand has slipped from my grasp.

My heart has become hard; my load is heavy. Doubts have crept into my mind. Ongoing attacks from the god of this world are unending – this evil influencer who wants to blind me to your ways and will for my life.

God, am I in a desert? A valley? Or, are you pruning me?

Why have you been silent?

Lord, I know that I have been away from you too long;  I have traded gathering with other Christians for a lonely, disconnected faith in my own home.

I have lived my life my way. I’m lost and can’t find my way back to you.

I have become an island with no moat. My anger and bitterness have kept me there.

I want off this island. Rescue me, Lord!

I am earnestly calling out to you, asking for your mercy. Forgive me, Father God! Please, show me the way - Your way!

I have been the pot calling the kettle black - quick to see and call out the sins of others while excusing or rationalizing my own faults. I reek of sin.

Help me let go of my anger and bitterness and forgive others the way you have forgiven me. Help me to love others the way you love me.

Teach me to lean on you and stop expecting others to give me what only You can give.

Remove any sinful thoughts and actions in my life. Clean up my heart, my thoughts, my mouth. Take away anything and anyone in my life that distracts me from You God.

Then Lord, open the eyes of my heart. Guide my steps with your holy, illuminating light, and help me to see and focus on You and the things that are beyond this earthly world.

Give me wisdom.

Make me be an instrument of your love, joy and peace and keep me from ever becoming an island again.

I ask these things in the powerful name of Jesus.

Amen.

See David’s prayer in Psalm 51 ~ “have mercy on me” / “blot out my transgressions…” / “create in me a clean heart.”