How I Connected with The Holy Spirit

I believe in God the Father, Jesus, His Son and The Holy Spirit. They are three in one, working interchangeably.

The moment I accepted Jesus as my Savior I was irreversibly sealed with the Holy Spirit - the active, powerful presence of God, living and working within me.

Because of the Spirit of God, I am a changed woman.

I prefer the light to the dark.

My desires are more spiritual than worldly - though at times I struggle with this.

I’ve become more loving, compassionate and kind - I’m still working on this, too!

I’m not as selfish as I used to be.

When I fail, I usually fall forward in faith, down on my knees in prayer. I do this because I know where my help comes from.

Mercifully, The Spirit convicts me of sin in my life. Graciously, the Lord forgives me.

The Holy Spirit has blessed me with gifts of speaking, writing and hospitality.

The Spirit helps me comprehend God’s thoughts so that I can understand the depths of His Word and what He is saying to me. This wisdom comes from God! I wouldn’t trade it for a beautiful home library filled with books written by the all of the brightest minds in the world!

Still, I remember struggling to connect with the person of the Holy Spirit. I knew The Spirit could supernaturally work through my gifts. I wondered. How do I access THAT power?

Frankly, I coasted through this vital part of my spirituality until one weekend God decided it was time for me to jump off the proverbial cliff.

For weeks our church choral group had practiced, “We Will Know Joy.” I was comfortable singing the alto notes I had learned and happy to make a joyful noise as part of the group.

But after our final rehearsal, our worship leader, Dr. Vernon Whaley, pulled me aside and asked me to memorize a part that was to be spoken during one of the songs. Apparently, the previous person had just backed out.

My memory has never been great. For something to stick I have to repeat it over and over and over, for days on end. It was 10 p.m. Our performance was the following night. I was genuinely surprised to hear myself agree to take the part.

I hurried home and opened the music book. Quickly scanning the song, I was startled by the start-and-stop narration.

Oh, my Lord!

Not only did I have to memorize the words, I would need to recall the multiple places to speak. I started sweating. My mind screamed, ‘you can’t do this!’

I did what I always do in my time of need. I got on my knees and asked God for His help. Afterwards, I studied, then studied some more. It was very late when I went to bed.

I arose early to go to our small group bible study and church. Back at home I repeatedly recited the narrator’s words.

I could hardly wait to get to our scheduled pre-performance run-through. I was sure we would go over ‘my’ song since there was a last minute change. I would feel better after practicing with the group.

When the time came, I took my place in front of the microphone, hopeful my memory would serve me well. I never got the chance to find out. Dr. Whaley chose to finesse the four-part harmonies instead. We finished about an hour before we were to sing and I wasn’t ready. Panic set in. I could not do it.

In the bathroom I tried pulling myself together, to no avail. It was there that I had a divine appointment with Beth - Dr. Whaley’s precious wife. Practically in tears, I poured out my feelings of inadequacy. I expressed worry over not getting to practice. Calmly, Beth simply responded, “Pam, you’re deep enough to do this.”

Her words leveled me. I left the bathroom mulling over her comment. Am I deep enough? What am I missing?

I found a quiet spot in the sanctuary and opened the music book once more to study. Yep! I went right back to doing what I had always done, relying on my own ability. I could barely see the words for my tears. I was afraid - scared of failing and failing God in front of everyone.

I slammed shut the book and confessed, “I can’t do this God!” The words were barely out of my mouth when He opened the eyes of my heart. I saw the vanity of using my spiritual gift without the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. The answer had been in front of me all along.

I had done all the things humanly possible - praying, asking for God’s help, studying, and rehearsing - yet I missed the message of the narration that I was given the opportunity to deliver straight from the book of Matthew.

At the time Jesus died, God himself tore the veil (speculated to be about 60 feet high and 4 inches thick) in Solomon’s temple of Jerusalem. The veil had separated man from Him (The Holy of Holies) because of their sins. This was significant because prior to the death of Jesus, only the high priest had been able to enter into God’s powerful presence once a year!

We are free to approach a Holy God because of His Son’s death on the cross for our sins. There is no need for high priests. We have full access to God and all of His power because Jesus sacrificed His life for us.

God lifted from me a different veil - the veil of self-sufficiency. It was preventing me from utilizing God’s power. I needed to yield my will to His holy process, surrender my fear, get out of His way, and in faith fully lean into the power of The Spirit. Less of me means more of Him!

As Christians we know this, yet on every level, many of us strive to use our God-given gifts in our own strength. The devil fools us into believing that we are more than capable and have no need of The Holy Spirit to lead, guide and direct us. That lie infects everything we do. Habitually, we might turn to God to ask for His help - even feel good about it - but we stop short of yielding, trusting, obeying Him and relying on His power.

It was high time for me to rely on God’s power rather than my own flesh.

When the time came for me to speak, I honestly felt like I was jumping off a high cliff into deep, deep water. I was unsure of the result of my obedience, but I knew it was necessary to let go and trust that God was waiting in the Deep, wanting to take my faith deeper still.

If I was to ever experience the Spirit’s influence in this way, I needed to jump!

My encounter with The Spirit that night was one of incredible joy. I was in awe. Through me, He spoke all the right words, at the correct time, and in the correct place. I became another example of how God’s power works through us if we allow Him.

Back at home, I sat on the front porch for hours praising God for the gift of His Spirit. He saw me - someone well-practiced in operating in my own strength - and compassionately taught me to do what I could not do without Him. I was overflowing with His goodness, power and had no need for sleep. I did not want the night to end.

The trust I gave The Holy Spirit was the beginning of a sweet, precious connection that remains active today and is often indescribable. I will never take it for granted. The Spirit gives me great joy! I’m grateful that God continues to use me for His glory, and for His powerful Spirit that equips and guides me.

You can experience the matchless power of God, too.

I encourage you to surrender your will and your spiritual gifts to God. Trust His Spirit in you, and jump! The God of the Impossible is there in the Deep, waiting for you with open arms.

Matthew 28:19 ~ Baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Ephesians 4: 4-6 ~ One Spirit, one Lord, and one God and Father of all.

Ephesians 1:13-14 ~ Sealed with The Spirit.

Ephesians 5:18 ~ Surrender to the Holy Spirit

Romans 6:13 ~ Offer oneself completely to God.

John 3:30 ~ He must increase, but I must decrease.

Galatians 5:16 ~ Keep in step with the Spirit.

Psalms 139:6 ~ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it.

Matthew 27:50-51a ~ And at that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom.

Acts 1:8 ~ Receiving power.

1 Cor. 12:4-11~ Distributes gifts

Hebrews 13:20 ~ Equips with every good thing to do His will