Despite The Years, God Saw Us Both

“So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her. ‘You are a God of seeing,’ for she said, ‘Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.’” ~ Genesis 16:13

My story and Hagar’s are separated by thousands of years, but God’s unwavering gaze exceeds time.

Hagar was an Egyptian girl who served Sarai, the wife of Abram. God had promised Abram that he would be the father of a great nation. But, at age 75, Sarai was weary of waiting on God to give her a child.

She rationalized that the culture made it permissible for Abram to have sex with her servant, and if Hagar became pregnant, Sarai would own the child. So, she told her husband to make it happen.

Sarai’s strategy worked.

But when Hagar realized she was pregnant, she looked at Sarai with scorn. Full of jealousy, Sarai treated Hagar so harshly she ran away.

Abused and pregnant, Hagar was in deep distress when an angel of the Lord found her sitting by a spring of water in the desert, and asked where she had come from and where she was going.

Hagar answered that she was running from Sarai.

The angel told her to return to Sarai, promised to multiply her offspring and did a gender reveal. Hagar was having a boy and his name would be Ishmael.

Because she had lived with Abram and Sarai, pioneer followers of God, Hagar knew about God and His capabilities and she returned to Sarai.

Hagar’s encounter with the angel revealed God’s compassion and love for her. When she thought she was alone in the wilderness, God found and cared for her.

The revelation caused Hagar to give Him a name. “El Roi; the God Who Sees Me.”

At age 30, I wanted a baby so badly my body ached beyond my hurting heart. But, I couldn’t get pregnant. To make matters worse, most of my friends had babies. Easter at the church I attended was a particularly hard time for me. Every year I choked back tears when the young children gathered on stage and sweetly sang, “Jesus Loves Me.”

At this point, you would think I identify with Sarai, but like Hagar I felt unseen by God. I was pretty sure I wasn’t even on His radar. I suspect Sarai had similar feelings when she took matters into her own hands.

I put out the word that I wanted to adopt a baby - even hired an attorney. Nothing happened.

Depressed, I kept busy with work and ran from my feelings - straight to the place where many want-to-be mommies with broken hearts run…. The empty womb wilderness.

I had seen God work in the lives of other people, but He didn’t appear to be working in mine. I was stuck in a spiritually dry place and God seemed too far away to quench my thirsty soul.

For weeks during my drive to work, I would loudly lament to God about my desire for a baby, and end my teary-eyed blubbering with an old song about God having His way in my life.

The lyrics I sang included asking God to mold me while I waited, yielded and still. I didn’t fully comprehend the depth of my musical, heartfelt request, but in effect, I surrendered control of my life to God - especially my empty womb.

One day in late March, God showed up in my wilderness. Actually, it was the Dutch Treat Cafe in a small Georgia town, where I sat eating my feelings.

The cafe owner told me I had a phone call. She led me behind the lunch counter to a table with a phone book, pen and rotary phone. It was 1990.

The call was from a co-worker. He said he had found a baby for me to adopt by way of his dad’s employee in Florida. In shock, I listened as he spoke words of encouragement to me about becoming a mom.

God used my co-worker to meet me in an unlikely place. Then and there, my Heavenly Father quenched my spiritual thirst and led me out of the desert. I had hope.

God’s timing was impeccable. Spring was just around the corner - the vibrant colors of new life were evident, bursting through the gray that had been my life.

Four days before Easter Sunday, my daughter was born on April 11. I was blessed to hold her that day. Miraculously, I became her mom nearly two months later.

I celebrate Easter differently since that experience.

God sent His son to willingly die for my sin on a cross and then three days later, He raised Jesus from the dead! His tomb was empty!

My womb was empty, yet I became a mom.

Just because it feels like God is absent, doesn’t mean He isn’t working. Truly, He sees you and is working out things for your good, when you are called for His purpose.

Hagar and I both ran from our circumstances. But praise God, our paths led to the God who sees.

Perhaps you’re in the wilderness, spiritually thirsty and feeling unseen. Today is the day to cry out to God - to get raw and real with Him.

God showed up in the messy realities of mine and Hagar’s lives, He will show up for you, in yours, too. We are proof that when circumstances push us down or those in charge push us away, God sees us and He still draws near.

*** Noted by author Tara-Leigh Cobble, The Bible Recap.

Hagar’s bible story is descriptive, not prescriptive. We learn what happened to Hagar, not what should have happened. The Bible does not support treating people like possessions.